What Happens When Co-Parents Disagree on Extracurricular Activities?

Co-parenting often feels rewarding because both parents stay involved in their child’s life. You’re invested in providing stability to your children. Disagreements are not uncommon, especially when it involves extra time, money, and commitment. 

Extracurricular activities keep children engaged, give structure to their week, and take some pressure off both parents at home. Sports, music lessons, art, and school clubs create healthy outlets that support emotional and social growth.

This guide explains how extracurricular activities are handled, how to reach agreement, and what to do when one parent refuses to cooperate.

What Counts as Extracurricular Activities?

Extracurricular activities are anything outside of regular school hours that support a child’s growth. These can be recreational, creative, academic, or athletic. Examples include:

• Sports teams such as soccer, basketball, or swimming
• Music lessons like piano, guitar, or vocal lessons
• School clubs such as robotics, chess, or debate
• Dance programs, martial arts, or gymnastics
• Tutoring or enrichment programs
• Summer or seasonal camps

Conflicts often appear when one parent supports an activity and the other does not. You may worry about the cost. They may worry about scheduling. Or the activity might fall during the other parent’s time, which they aren’t willing to help out with.

How to Reach an Agreement About Extracurricular Activities?

Before asking your co-parent about the activity, find out if your child’s interested in it or any other activity. Discuss about it with your co-parent and encourage them to speak about their concerns without judgement.

You can also take this opportunity to:

• Review your parenting plan or separation agreement
• Talk through cost sharing and transportation expectations
• Look at schedules to avoid burnout for the child
• Agree to try the activity for a set period before committing long term

When You Cannot Reach Agreement

If you cannot agree, look at your decision making arrangement. In Ontario, a parent with sole decision making responsibility may choose the activity. When parents share decision making, they must make major decisions together. 

If the disagreement continues, you may request mediation or negotiation support. As a last option, you can ask the court to decide. The court will look at the child’s best interests.

How to Schedule Activities During the Other Parent’s Time But You Paid For It? 

You agreed to sign your child up for the activity and covered the full cost because your co-parent did not want to contribute. The classes now fall during their parenting time, and you want to support your child’s interest without creating conflict.

Here is how to handle it:

• Let the other parent know that your goal is to support your child, not control their schedule.
• Talk about how excited your child feels about the activity. Focus on their experience, not your disagreement.
• Offer to manage all transportation to and from the activity to make it easier.
• Suggest trying the activity for a short period before making a long term decision.

If the other parent continues to refuse, review your parenting plan to see whether extracurricular expectations are included. If nothing is outlined, consider mediation to help create a clear structure both parents can follow.

Want a parenting plan that actually reduces conflict? Request a consultation with Noori Law today. 

Frequently Asked Questions

Who pays for extracurricular activities when parents share custody?

Parents typically share the cost of extracurricular activities in proportion to their incomes, unless their separation agreement states otherwise. If the expense is significant, it may qualify as a “special or extraordinary expense” under the Child Support Guidelines.

What if extracurriculars interfere with homework, meals, or downtime?

A child’s well-being takes priority. If an activity disrupts essential routines, parents should reassess scheduling, limit frequency, or choose a less demanding program.  

How do we handle transportation when both parents have busy schedules?

Parents should discuss transportation at the time of enrollment and agree on a clear plan. Solutions include alternating driving, arranging carpool support, or adjusting pick-up and drop-off times.  

Can a parent sign a child up for activities without the other parent’s consent in Ontario?

If parents share decision-making responsibility, they must agree on significant activities. A parent acting alone may face disputes if the other objects. If decisions cannot be made jointly, mediation or, in some cases, an Ontario court determination may be required.