What Happens If My Child Doesn’t Want to Visit the Other Parent?
Separation creates tension within the whole family, including the children. Some days they adjust well, other days they push back. If your child starts refusing to visit the other parent, you may feel stuck in the middle.
A child’s refusal can put a parent in a difficult position, particularly when a parenting order is already in place. Ontario family law requires parents to follow existing parenting arrangements while keeping the child’s best interests at the centre of any decisions.
Here is how Ontario law approaches these situations and what parents should consider.
Law on Parenting Time in Ontario
In Ontario, the Children’s Law Reform Act and the Divorce Act require parenting decisions to be based on the child’s best interests. When parenting time is court-ordered, you must follow it unless the order changes. If your child refuses to go, that doesn’t automatically give you permission to skip the visit.
The courts don’t expect children to decide whether visits happen. They expect parents to encourage and facilitate parenting time, even when it becomes difficult. Failure to comply without court-approved changes can lead to legal consequences.
In Godard v. Godard, the Ontario Court of Appeal confirmed that a parent must do what they reasonably can to comply with a parenting order. Simply leaving the decision to the child may not be enough.
Why a Child May Refuse Parenting Time
A child may resist parenting time for many reasons. Some concerns may relate to transitions or family conflict. Others may raise more serious concerns about the child’s safety or well being.
Common reasons include:
- Loyalty conflicts or guilt
- Anxiety about transitions
- Conflict or tension with the other parent
- Feeling unsafe or unheard in the other home
- Exposure to arguments, yelling, or emotional harm
If the refusal becomes persistent or the child raises concerns about their safety, speak with a family lawyer about the appropriate next steps. Professional support may also be appropriate depending on the circumstances.
What Parents Should Do When a Child Refuses Parenting Time
If your child lives with you primarily: Your child’s distress may be difficult to manage. However, repeated refusals do not change an existing parenting order. Continue making reasonable efforts to support parenting time and seek legal advice if the problem continues.
If your child is refusing to visit you: Avoid putting pressure on the child or escalating the conflict with the other parent. Keep communication focused on the parenting arrangement. If you believe the refusals are being encouraged by the other parent, speak with a family lawyer about your options.
What should I do when my child refuses again?
A child’s refusal does not automatically suspend court ordered parenting time. Your response should consider the existing order, the reason for the refusal, and any concerns raised by the child.
Here’s what you can do when your child refuses to visit the other parent:
Stay calm and listen
Ask questions without leading them. Try to get a clear idea of what they’re feeling and why.
Encourage the visit
Ensure them that they weren’t the reason behind the split and that these visits are important. Stay neutral in your tone and avoid saying anything that may fuel resistance.
Document everything
Record missed parenting time, what occurred, and the steps you took to encourage the visit. Keep the notes factual. These records may become relevant if the parenting arrangement later comes before the court.
Speak with the other parent
Let the other parent know what your child said and how you tried to manage the situation. Do not accuse or blame. Instead, express your willingness to find a solution together.
At what age can a child refuse to visit the other parent?
Courts consider a child’s views and preferences based on their age and maturity. There is no rule that gives a child the authority to decide parenting time once they turn 12, 14, or another specific age.
In some court cases, the Office of the Children’s Lawyer may become involved. The court can request assistance to obtain information about the child’s views, preferences, and circumstances. This may include a Voice of the Child Report or legal representation for the child.
Parenting Time Lawyer in Etobicoke
Navigating parenting time disputes is rarely straightforward, especially when your child is caught in the middle. At Noori Law, we help Etobicoke parents understand their rights and obligations under Ontario family law, and take the right steps to make parenting time agreement work again.
Please reach out for a consultation.
