My Spouse Just Asked for a Divorce – What Do I Do Now? 

Whether it was a surprise or you’d been expecting it, hearing your spouse say “I want a divorce” can be frightening. If you don’t want a divorce, you’ll do anything under the sun to make that happen. But, is it the right way to go? If that’s the end for your spouse and you’re the only one trying to save the relationship, it won’t change anything. As a family lawyer in Etobicoke, my biggest goal is helping clients reach a desired outcome. Please contact us for a free consultation.  

What to do if my spouse asks for a divorce?

You can take proactive steps to encourage your spouse to change their mind. Talking through your situation will certainly help as long as there’s clear communication and truthfulness. Remember, your goal is to improve your relationship in the long term and not just prevent the divorce.

1. Be open to discussion 

Let your spouse know that you want to improve and are open to any questions they have. 

2. Be respectful towards your spouse

There’ll be many emotions going through you but remember to respect their and your space and mental state. 

3. Don’t get into arguments

Arguments are meant to happen in situations like this. If your spouse is trying to engage in an argument, simply walk away from there. 

4. Keep yourself busy throughout the day

Carry on with your regular activities like any other day. Meet friends and family, take your kids to the park, or pick up a new hobby. 

5. Get help 

As a family lawyer in Etobicoke, I recommend you read books on divorce and also start couples counselling. It is a safe space to voice your feelings. 

What not to do if my spouse asks for a divorce? 

Acting angry, scared, desperate, or upset will push your spouse further away from you. Give them space while you actively find ways to save your marriage. 

1. Buying gifts

Buying your spouse flowers or their favourite things won’t help avoid the divorce. 

2. Gossiping with family and friends

You can make the situation worse by discussing your divorce with friends and family. This is a personal matter, so talk with your spouse first before sharing.

3. Excessive compliments 

Pointing out what you love about them or your relationship can appear manipulative. 

4. Nagging

Don’t send out too many text messages or call too many times. 

5. Spying 

Don’t check their emails, messages, or call history. Don’t check their social media accounts. It can break the trust you’re trying to build. 

Next steps

Discuss with your spouse if they’d be interested in going to couples counselling. It will help you understand what’s causing the tension and how you can resolve it. If you are working through an alternative dispute resolution, it is a good idea to formalise it into a Separation Agreement drafted by counsel. For more information, please contact Noori Law today.